Very descriptive. You have a way with words and similes so that it is relatively easy to picture. This sort of thing is always good to have, and you also have to know just how much to do it and how much to abstain from it. So there is a bit of “descriminating” one must do in order not use too many “effects” in the language. I usually use it when the character is viewing something, as you have done here.

I find that when writing a story, half the time the first intentions don’t work right and I end up scrapping a lot of what I did, and just keeping the little parts that really sparkled and building up around them. There is one story I have been trying to write for YEARS. It has to do with a truck driver and an accident and some weird things that happen to him. I swear I must have started it at least 10 times, and never got past the opening paragraphs. The only idea that has been that stubborn!

I am an aspiring writer as well. Just had a book of collected short science fiction/fantasy and suspense published and am trying to network with other writers on the web and build some kind of presence. I have a few free stories on my webpage over at http://www.nighthawkfiction.com that you are welcome to check out if you like. There is also a link to my own Blog which is basically a lot of my own thoughts on writing and entertainment and style. Would love to hear your opinions.

Best Regards,

Russ